A Simple Plan Works (Temporarily)

After weeks of deprivation, cricket returned to London today.  Moreover, it was the London derby: Middlesex against Surrey at The Home of Cricket.  I was so excited as I made my way to St John's Wood and entered Lord's.  Surrey won the toss and I was ready with my standard "100 without loss at lunch" plan.  Then Rory Hamilton-Brown elected to field.  I thought I'd misheard but, no, Middlesex was going to bat.  Hmm, what happened to the three absolutes about winning the toss?

(1) Win the toss and bat

(2) If you're not sure, think about it and bat

(3) If you're still not sure, ask someone, and then bat

I took a deep intake of breath, remembered he was the captain and professional cricketer not me, and revised my simple plan to read "Middlesex four down for less than 100 at lunch".  The course of the next couple of hours thus sorted, I settled back in the warm sun, right at the boundary edge.  Lord's was looking splendid and all the ingredients were in place for a great day of cricket.

When I should have gone home ...

Almost immediately, Middlesex lost a wicket, and then another and then a third.  At 28-3, it seemed that (a) electing not to bat had been absolutely the right thing to do and, just as unlikely, (b) my simple plan might actually happen.  I had to wait about an hour but then, yes, the fourth wicket was down, score at 90-something, the umpire called lunch and we were invited to walk on the outfield.  My HQ (happiness quotient) was through the roof.  Should have called it a day and headed home at that point …

My post-lunch simple plan was to have Middlesex all out for under 200 by tea.  A rare Surrey supporter seated nearby nodded his approval.  Hours and hours (or was it days and days) later, another meal break had passed, and I had moved from the Grand stand to the Compton Stand to stay in the sun.  Middlesex had put on 250 more runs and the fifth wicket still hadn't fallen.  Having tried to distract myself with how Old Father Time had managed to Tweet a photograph that had clearly been taken from the Pavilion and whether there were squatters in the TMS commentary box, I found myself surrounded by over-excited Middlesex fans, applauding a second Middlesex centurion and longing for the close of play.  Now I understood why having a game that lasts for so long is such a bad idea: it gives so much opportunity for stuff to happen - and, almost inevitably, that's not all going to be "to plan".  The fifth wicket eventually fell but I was hard pressed to summon any positive emotion.

... when I actually went home!



Euphoria to if not actual misery then at least its first cousin in just a few hours.  And it had been my choice to watch this.  Do I really have to go back tomorrow?  Entirely up to me - but I kind of know that, unless the rain gods smile on me, I'll be there by 11 am formulating yet another optimistic simple plan that's almost certainly doomed to failure.  Before this morning, I can't remember the last time that I got one right.  Oh well, that's the game I love.  Perhaps I can find a few more Surrey supporters in the morning: misery shared is misery halved, after all - or is that doubled?